Cobras. What could possibly go wrong?

Dear Wilson,

I found another Cobra show. The first one was in Bangkok but the next one was in Chiang Mai. It's called the King Cobra Chiang Mai Show. Bangkok was sort of safe by Thai standards but would be outright illegal in the United States. The Chiang Mai show was on another level of "unsafe". We pulled up in the parking lot and the staff told us to hurry because a show was just about to start. We quickly paid and proceeded to the area where the show was. There were some chairs and a mini bleacher setup surrounding what resembled a concrete kids pool with about a 15' diameter and the concrete wall was about 8" high. Yep that's it, just 8" tall. When we walked up there were only 5 people in the audience. There was a Monocled Cobra loose on the floor in the circular area. The snake wrangler guy told us to come in and sit down. I was confused because in order to "go sit down" we had to pass the 5' long Cobra on the floor about 20' from us. So we stopped, staring at the snake on the floor and giving the snake guy a confused look. He said "don't be scared, I will distract the snake". Well, the man said go, so fuck it, we walk within 12' of the snake and sat down. I sat on the seat on the floor and the rest of the family sat 1 row up. The man immediately engaged with his audience while dodging a striking Cobra anywhere from 4' to 0' in front of him. Yes as in he would touch the Cobra many times to provoke strikes. He asked me to come sit down behind the snake. I'm not turning down something awesome like this! I immediately got up and sat about 8' from the snake. He said "no come closer." Ok 😂😂😂. So here I am sitting about 5' from this amazing snake that is striking and hissing at the snake guy. At this point I'm in more of a sit/stand position just in case I need to move quickly. Chloe couldn't just sit and watch so she came up and stood next to me. I put my arm in front of her with the intention to throw her if the snake turned around. Then Cali walked up and stood behind me. We watched closely as this crazy man had repeated close encounters with a bite from the Cobra. Pretty badass and intense to watch from a few feet away. After that, we sat down again. Then he brought out a King Cobra that was over 8' long. At this point a Thai family of 3 in the bleachers left. They couldn't stand the suspense and walked out. That left the 5 of us and a lady with her son. Almost a completely private show at this point. The snake man asked us to come up and get close again. This was actually much scarier since this King Cobra was huge but we just couldn't pass up the opportunity. We put our lives in this man's hands for the sake of adventure and yes it was totally worth it. This man would even kiss the Cobras on the mouth and move when it would strike. If he can do that, we could at least sit there and watch right? Erica and Brandt stayed on the seats and watched intently in fear. After showing us the King Cobra he caught it and let us touch it. Even Brandt and Erica came up at that point and we all touched this magnificent and huge snake. So awesome! Next, he said he was bringing out a Thai jumping snake. This sounded like a fun one to watch but I had never heard of a Thai jumping snake. He said it jumps really high and is very fast. He reached in a box and threw it at Erica! It was a black rope lololol. You should have seen Erica's face. She almost died but the rest of us thought it was fucking hilarious. The snake guy thought that was the funniest joke in the world and I'm pretty sure Erica's heart stopped for 5 seconds. 😂😂😂. She was stunned and I personally got lots of enjoyment out of that. So needless to say, there is no such thing as a Thai jumping snake. They brought out a few other snakes including a crazy fast Thai rat snake that was determined to bite the a young trainer and did in fact successfully bite him once on the shirt. Then that was the end of the show. After the show a young man (about 19 years old) took it upon himself to give us a tour of all of the snakes they have. He was extremely kind and taught us everything he could think of about their snake collection. It seems like everywhere we go, we get special treatment. Not because they are trying to extract money from us. They seem to sincerely like our family and want to show us extra things. They seem like they are curious why we are here and they give us special attention. Such a great experience with absolutely amazing people. I fucking love Thai people and that show was literally the most exhilarating snake show you could ever see. The end 😉