7 Days until Departure
Dear Wilson,
It's getting real now. All of the shit talking, excessive planning, and thinking about this trip with our family of 5 is finally about to become a reality. It's pretty scary to be completely honest. Lots of thoughts come flowing through my head with this challenge that we created. I am writing this blog post right now because I'm laying in bed at midnight, not able to sleep. What if I fucked up? I have a family to support. If I don't do this correctly I'm a letdown to my kids, wife, friends, and family. No pressure right? Selling our home and rental property was a pretty frightening experience. There goes home base and no way to turn back. I reallllllly liked that house on 835 Teddy Avenue. It still stings and it has been sold for about 2 months now. Also, trying to run a construction business from fucking Thailand at + 12 hours with the time zone difference is going to be interesting, to say the least. Hope that works out because if not, well… I won't try to think about that anymore. I will cross that bridge if I am forced to.
I'm super excited to have this opportunity and to go on this trip of a lifetime. However, I am saying that it does come with its share of mental weight and a tiny dose of occasional torture. Pros and cons to every decision in life for sure. These choices we have made are actually much more difficult than they seem. It's so easy to say "one day" or I will do it if "x" happens first. I realized that if I didn't deliberately take action, tomorrow would NEVER come. So finally, after years of blowing hot air, we actually took action and executed the plan. I don't regret the decisions we have made so far for this transition of travel but it's no easy task to execute. Having to let go of everything just to travel seems really stupid sometimes. We will miss our family and friends. We will miss the attachments and comforts of "home".
The little voices of fear in our heads can get quite loud in times like this. The voices try to fabricate every reason why it's impossible to follow through. At some point the fear just has to be ignored I guess. I will say it's much easier to jump out of an airplane than to disrupt and change our entire lives as we know it. That's not an exaggeration by the way. Our comfort zone has officially been destroyed… Comfort is a very scary thing to lose.
Fun fact: As I write this, I'm "living" in my brother-in-law/sister's backyard pool house for this short period of being truly homeless. At 35 years old and as of today, I don't own a home and I don't even have an address. I have to laugh sometimes to keep the tears in. Sometimes I'm just like… WTF am I doing…
Haha…
I'm sorry for this boring post. We haven't actually started yet so that will be my excuse for this not-so-great reading material. It will get more interesting as the trip progresses.