Goodbyes

Dear Wilson

This is the night before our last night here in Slidell. Today, we have officially said our goodbyes to almost everyone. Tomorrow we say goodbye to my mom, Chris, Larrel, and Lilly. We are living with them before our departure so they get the final goodbye. In 35 years of life, I have never told anyone I care about, "goodbye" for an assumed 6 month duration. That's actually a long time to not see the people you care about the most. It's a strange feeling to be honest. Usually "bye" means see you next week or something similar. Bye for 6 months is like ummmmm… I guess I will see you in… well… in a long fucking time from now… 

I have realized this… It is better to miss and be missed than to not miss and not be missed. Is it really sad when we look at this way? It seems way more sad to not have anyone to miss. I think this is what keeps me from personally falling apart on goodbyes. The reality is, I'm thankful to miss my family and friends. I'm happy to have the privilege of missing people and feeling like we may be missed as well. A truly sad story would be leaving with no emotions whatsoever and no one to miss. The feeling of a very sad goodbye is actually confirmation for me of a strong bond with others. 

I never thought "traveling the world" was so fucking hard. It is truly a test for me and my family in soooo many ways. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining or regretting any of our decisions so far. I'm happy and excited to have this privilege. It's just way harder and scarier to exercise the option than I could have ever anticipated. Only time will tell if it gets easier or harder throughout this trip. Either way, I doubt it could ever be a regret. Tomorrow is the last day in Slidell………………………………………………….